Dir en grey: Inward Scream Tour
Exclusive Live Report
By: Dark Avenger
All things that may require an explanation are marked with a * after the word or phrase. All explanations are at the end of the article. Special thanks to Lorraine, Reese, Richard, and Lori for editing this article.
Warnings - Explicit language and at some points excessive fangirl squealing.
Leaving for Englewood, Colorado
The last time I remember sleeping was from 4am Thursday morning until 11am. We left Albuquerque, New Mexico at 3am Friday morning, hyped up on more sugar than should even be possible and so pumped up that it would have been impossible to even try to rest at all.
The other two people in the car, Elya* and Larry*, didn't get any sleep as I proceeded to squeal and squawk about Dir en grey and what I hoped would happen at the concert or how much I loved certain songs and band members. Larry hadn't slept since Thursday morning and Elya hadn't slept since Wednesday morning around 9am.
I drove the entire trip there and wasn't fazed by it whatsoever. There was no way in hell I was going to be tired, it just wasn't happening.
We stopped at this little rest stop north of Las Vegas, New Mexico for a bathroom break and were amazed by the view of the stars out there. It's basically in the middle of nowhere and there were almost no lights to be found in that area, so it was really amazing. Elya saw a falling star and wished on it that she'd get to see Dir en grey backstage. We stopped for gas and had breakfast at McDonalds around 6am in Raton, New Mexico. We also stopped outside of Colorado Springs, Colorado for a snack and a bathroom break.
We arrived at the Gothic Theater in Englewood, Colorado at 10am, Friday, February 16, 2007. There was an icy cold wind and it was well below thirty degrees Fahrenheit. Some people were standing around in t-shirts and others wrapped up in winter coats and blanket. Only one thing was for sure, everyone was freezing.
Waiting in Line
We made quite a few friends with the people in line behind us. They arrived around noon. The first one we met was a guy who called himself Frost. He told us that he and his girlfriend had been to the Family Values Tour in Albuquerque, New Mexico on August 16, 2006 and NDK* in Denver, Colorado. After talking to him a while we figured out that he was there with his girlfriend, who was not very talkative, but still sweet when she did talk. Frost's ex-boyfriend apparently had a tattoo of Hide, a dearly departed J-Rocker that is still quite well known within any circle of people who know anything about J-Rock. It was kind of cool to find out about someone who had a tattoo of Hide, hence why that became a memorable moment of the experience. Well... that and Elya's two Hide plushies got very excited that someone would put a tattoo of them on their body.
I wandered up and down the line of people waiting with my camera, taking video footage of all the people who were there. I managed to find out that the first person who was in line had been there since 10pm Thursday night.
Levels of Sanity
While standing in line, I started to describe the Levels of Sanity, a Dir en grey rating system that I came up with to describe the people in line for any Dir en grey concert.
We start at the very back of the line, just prior to the concert time. These are the people who likely have season passes to the venue in question and don't have a clue in hell who Dir en grey are. They are there for one reason and one reason only, to not waste their season passes. This group's official title is The Season Pass Holders.
The next group up from there are The Blissfully Unaware who know who Dir en grey are, but they are basically there just so they can say that they've been to a Diru* concert. They are the people who don't know any of the song names and probably only know the vocalist's name, if that.
The following group knows who Dir en grey are and know at least three of the band member's names. They know most of the songs off of the most recent album, though not by name. This group generally thinks that knowing two words in Japanese qualifies as "knowing" Japanese. They have been dubbed The Diru Posers.
The next group knows all of the band member's names and knows at least knows one CD that is not the most recent. They can name a few song titles and maybe even pelt out a few lyrics of a random song. They arrive about an hour before the venue doors open. These are the newbie fans that you can actually stand to be around because they don't think they know everything and usually freely admit that fact. They have been dubbed The Newbie Fans.
The next group of people deem themselves hardcore fans of Dir en grey. They arrive about two hours prior to opening of the venue. They think that they know everything there is to know about the band, but in reality, they know embellished tales told in online communities and basically none of the actual facts. They know about five album titles, but almost none of the songs themselves. They know all the band member's names and seem to think at least one of them is hot. These particular fans annoy the ever living shit out of the true Dir en grey fans and earn comments such as "those kinds of fans drive me crazy" from the people farther forward in the line. They have been dubbed The Deeper Vileness*.
There are a few true fans mixed in the prior group; the fans who drove from very far away and couldn't make it any earlier or the newer fans who had no idea just how devoted Diru fans truly are and thought that the line wouldn't be that long. These few people do not deserve the group title and retain either the group title they would have been in if they were able to arrive at the time they wished or earn the prior group title of The Newbie Fan.
The next group fancies themselves "in love" with one band member and knows at least a decent discography of the entire band. They don't usually pretend to know things that they do not, the possible exception being "personal" things about whichever band member they claim to be in love with. They have been in line since about three hours prior to the opening of the venue. This group has been dubbed The Thankfully Un-annoying.
The next group has been here about the same amount of time as the last group, but they are usually in love with at least two of the band members and enjoy being overly dramatic about all things even remotely related to Dir en grey. They are the people you cannot force to shut up. They have been dubbed The Eternally Annoying.
The group in front of that claim to be in love with all of the band members and have likely known about the band since before they were truly considered "big". They think it'd be nice to meet the band or be close to the stage, but won't push to get either. They arrive about four or five hours prior to the venue opening. This group is simply called The Diru Fans.
We have now arrived at the final two groups of people in line at a Dir en grey concert.
The second Level of Sanity is made up of the people who arrived at least five hours prior to the start of the concert, some of them may have even driven in from out of town. These people love the entire band, either in a very fangirl/fanboy squeal type of way or in the Dir en grey's music rocks type of way. They have generally followed the band since at least early 2004 and usually know the real names of the band members. Even if they haven't followed the band since early 2004, they will usually know almost all of the major albums that Diru has released. They don't care too much about the weather, but if it's really bad, they're likely to show up in one of the aforementioned groups so that they don't lose things; like their limbs, courtesy of frostbite or the small bit of sanity they have left, from ingesting far too much sugar and caffeine. This group may include a few people cosplaying various looks of band members throughout the years. These people may have brought gifts for the band members that they likely intend to throw onto the stage if they get the chance. This is also the start of the people who will do almost anything that they can in order to get close to the stage. These are generally the ones that once inside will attempt to grope the band members should they tread too close to the front of the stage. A fair amount of this group may have either read or written fanfiction about Dir en grey. These people are the group that I have dubbed The Insane.
And now... The Final* group of people in line. These people are the ones who, if they live in town, have camped out in front of the venue since the night prior to the concert. If they don't live in town, they left home the morning of the concert at some ungodly hour in the morning in order to get there really early so that they are assured to be right in front of the stage and have first shot at the merchandise tables. (Yes... we are proudly members of this group!) These people know damn near everything about Dir en grey, including personal details about the band members. They've usually been fans of Dir en grey since the formation of the group in 1997, if not even since the days of La:Sadies. These fans will know Dir en grey's entire discography, plus or minus a few songs. Generally, these fans can name almost any Dir en grey song after only hearing a few seconds of it. These fans most assuredly have some kind of gift to give the band members, usually in the form of a separate gift for each one, in some cases even handmade items such as artwork, poetry, or even homemade cookies. These are the fans that while they want to reach out and grope the band members, usually will not because the band members are so revered in their eyes that they wouldn't dare defile them in such a manner. They will usually follow most instructions, though somewhat begrudgingly, including no cameras and no glomping of the band members. They will be severely disheartened if they do not manage to get backstage and will spend their entire savings accounts in order to get the chance to do so. These are the people who are reaching out to the band members with their hands, but aren't trying to shove others out of the to get to them. These are also the people who will go into reverent silence should Kyo sing a cappella* or during whatever song their favorite member plays their favorite part of that song. These fans will, however, damn near kill to be in the front two rows of people and you are not going to move them by shoving them around... unless of course you like being kicked in the balls or being punched in the face. These fans scream their hearts out until they have no voice left to use by the time the concert is over, but silence will themselves immediately should any band member wish to speak or gives the signal to be quiet. These fans, given the chance, will scream out their love to their favorite member of the band. They have moments where they will almost faint because they know (and are not lying) that one of the band members looked them directly in the eye for a few seconds. They will also damn near maul other people in order to get at a drumstick or guitar pick thrown by a band member. They notice damn near every single sexy thing that any band member does on stage, but especially whatever the band members that they love do. These are also the fans that, given the opportunity, will yell out things like "Dir en grey fucking rocks!" to any random passing person while they are waiting in line for the show. Probably the two most important things about these fans are the fact that they Ain't Afraid To Die* and that they freely admit to being a member of this group and will, in fact, scream out the fact if given the chance to do so. This group will randomly sing and hum parts of songs while waiting in line and talk incessantly for hours on end about Dir en grey. They sometimes have handmade clothing items with Dir en grey incorporated into them somehow, including anything from photographs to lyrics. This group will inevitably have quite a few cosplay people among their ranks and it is very obvious to even the most naive who they are attempting to cosplay. This group has almost assuredly written or read Dir en grey fanfiction. The name given to this particular group of people is The Fucking Insane.
Other Pre-Concert Discussion
Elya shared quite an interesting comparison with us. She decided that, in many cases, Kyo is Taz*. She proceeded to do her quite accurate imitation of Kyo in many of Dir en grey's songs and it would appear that she is, indeed, correct. Either Kyo does one hell of a Taz imitation or Taz managed to foresee the future and imitate Kyo forty three years in the future*. Either way, Elya's imitation of Kyo/Taz was hilarious and I honestly began to wonder if I would end up cracking up like a crazy person when Kyo began to sing in such a manner on stage. I ended up wondering if I did break down into insane cackling just what the look on Kyo's face would be.
Around 2pm it began to snow, just a light dusting that melted when it hit the ground, if it even made it that far. However, the cold began to really creep in around this time as well, since the sun disappeared behind the building and eventually became completely obscured by cloud cover.
Around about the same time that it starts snowing, a Fed Ex truck shows up and the guy takes in three boxes that say guitar on the side. We all kind of cheer at him and make him feel nice and special. We have no idea whose guitars they are, but I'm not really sure it mattered at that point. We could all think it was whoever's we wanted it to be and that was just fine. In any case, at least the Fed Ex guy got to feel special as we squealed at him and his packages when he walked by.
At some point a huge tour bus shows up and turns into the parking lot of the Gothic Theater. We all cheer at the bus, waving and hoping that maybe it is Dir en grey's bus. About an hour later another huge tour bus shows up and goes down the back way toward the Gothic Theater and comes back out about ten minutes later only to pass in front of us and go into the parking lot the front way. It slowed down a lot in front of us and I wondered if perhaps this was Dir en grey's tour bus and they were staring out of the heavily tinted windows at us. It was cold enough that the cheers were minimal and only some of us unwrapped enough to wave at the bus. I took pictures of both busses, so I'm guessing I have at least one picture of Dir en grey's tour bus.
It progressively gets colder and colder and we all consume more and more caffeine. Pee breaks are taken in shifts and we end up walking down the block to the grocery store in order to use the restrooms since the Bowling Alley next door decided that they didn't want us to use their facilities.
The nice group of people behind us had a family member who owned a guitar store a little further down the block and they provided us all with warm tea and more blankets. I really hope we remembered to thank them for that kindness, but by that point, I'm not sure that we remembered our own names, much less our manners.
About three hours prior to the show a large old Winnebago pulling a white trailer shows up. We stare at it as it turns into the parking lot, knowing full well that it was most definitely not Dir en grey. I didn't so much as even reach for my camera.
Around two hours prior to the show I decide I'd had more than enough of the cold weather and Elya and I retreat to our parked car and turn the heater on full blast once inside. We regain feeling in our limbs after about half an hour and return to Larry, who has been preserving our space in line. He proceeds to go and do the same thing while we remain in line.
About 5pm, an FYE representative comes out and asks if we want to purchase a pre-sale CD and get a chance to see the band backstage. I purchase one since one of my friends requested that I get her one and send it to her. I get the card for it and it doesn't have a sticker on the back of it, the way that you tell if you have won the chance to see Dir en grey after the concert. I frown at it and shove it into my bag, not even really able to give a shit at the moment about it. It has become far too cold and keeping my hands out in the open for longer than a minute is highly undesirable. I just think to myself that I'll purchase another pre-sale album once I'm inside and pray for the best.
6pm: Not so much...
The tickets and all communication with the venue had told all of us that the doors would open at 6pm. However, they decided that we wouldn't be let in until 6:30pm and neglected to tell us this until along about 6:05pm. Apparently they needed to do a sound check... or at least that was their excuse. I'm pretty sure that the second opening band was late and maybe it was their sound check that had to be done.
In any case, I'd already ditched my sweater, blanket, and gloves back in the car at 5:50pm. So I was left in my light Fullmetal Alchemist hoodie, Dir en grey t-shirt, and fairly thin black cargo pants. This was not the wisest of decisions apparently. The temperature continued to drop and I started to internally shiver. That's one hell of a creepy feeling, let me tell you.
Elya and I stood around hugging one another, praying it would warm us up. Several other girls from behind us huddled with us, all of us attempting to shield one another from the wind. We began to bitch to one another about what all we couldn't feel anymore due to the cold. At one point I remember deciding that I could no longer feel my thighs, my arms, my fingers, my ass, my feet or toes, and for sure not my breasts. I imparted this information upon the others and decided that maybe they'd take pity on us if they found out our boobs were freezing off. About thirty or so of us girls all screamed at once, as loud as we could, "We can't feel our boobies!!" Unfortunately for us, it did not do anything but make half the rest of the line crack up at us.
Gothic Theater personnel came out and walked up and down the line telling us that any cameras found being used in the venue would constitute grounds for immediate expulsion. I promptly decided that was so very not worth it and unloaded the three cameras that I had on my person into Larry's possession and he ran them back to the car. They even said cell phone cameras were not allowed and that caused a great many more people to run for cars really fast.
About ten minutes later the venue doors finally opened and they split us up into two groups, males and females, for pat down and bag search. Larry got to be one of the first fifteen or so people into the venue since he was a guy and guys were kind of sparse in the crowd. Elya and I were much further behind, since the female pat down line was much longer.
By the time I got to the door it was snowing really hard outside, snow swirling around everywhere and the sky looking pretty ominous. Man was I ever happy to not be in the back of the line at that moment in time.
Inside at Last!
Larry went directly to the stage area and Elya and I went for the merchandise tables once we were inside. I purchased all of the following: two Dir en grey bumper stickers, two Dir en grey wrist bands, one t-shirt, four posters (there was a one in four chance of it being signed, none of mine were though), Child Prey single CD, Filth single CD, Embryo single CD, four of the free Dir en grey postcards, and one signed copy of the It Withers and Withers DVD. The DVD was $125 and I was called the "uber fangirl" by the lady behind the counter for buying it. I was also told that it was the only one for sale at that venue.
I then went to the FYE booth just inside the doors and purchased three more pre-sale CDs, praying like hell for a sticker on one of them... no such luck. I wandered over to a table and stuffed all of my merchandise into my messenger bag, feeling happy that if nothing else, at least I had that signed DVD and I would be somewhere up front. I go back by the FYE table and deliberate just how much of my remaining money I'm willing to spend on the pre-sale CDs in order to get to meet the band.
Elya comes up to the table and purchases one pre-sale CD and gets a sticker on it. She starts squealing loudly and going "Oh my god! Oh my god!" and she was damn near hyperventilating. I'll be honest here, I was jealous at that point. I didn't say anything and tried to smile at her and then laughed lightly and told her she was lucky. People told her to breathe and she did, which was good. The FYE guy told her to come back to the table directly after the concert.
I stared at my money again then I asked the FYE guy just how many more I could purchase and not become pathetic. Someone commented that I had already exceeded that point when I purchased anything at all. I glared at them and looked back at the guy just in time to see him shuffling the upside down pile of pre-sale CD cards as discretely as possible under the edge of the table. He pulls out one with a sticker on it and holds up one finger to me, indicating I should only get one more. I quickly fork over the fifteen dollars with shaking hands and he gives me the card with the sticker on the back of it. I thank him three or four times and think that if he wasn't standing behind the table, I'd definitely hug him.
I turn back around to Elya and walk a few feet away from the table before I start to cry. I basically collapse into Elya's arms and sob like an idiot telling her I was so happy now and a bunch of other stuff that I don't think made any coherent sense whatsoever. She held me up and god only knows what she must have been thinking, me blubbering like an idiot and her having to support my weight until my legs would work again.
About a minute passes and when I finally get my legs to work properly again, we head down to a table really fast. We put all of her stuff in my messenger bag and I go to the bathroom really fast so I won't have to later.
Once I return, we shuffle down into the pit area and attempt to find Larry. I wander around the area center-right stage and scream "Dad! Larry!" over and over again. People give us begrudging looks as we shove past them and I do my best to not feel like an asshole for this. Finally I spotted him and pushed harder to get to him, Elya making far more headway than me. She has the concert experience, I don't. So I suppose she already knew how to shove people out of her way. I was quickly learning that "Excuse me please" didn't do shit and that shoving people out of my way and telling them I was going that way worked far better.
We finally reach Larry and he said his hip was killing him, so he went to go sit at a table and we took his spot. The grumpy looks decreased a little. I guess maybe since he left and that meant there was only one extra person up front, who knows. Larry had managed to get us center-right stage, approximately second row back.
Opening Bands
We don't have to wait long for the concert to start, maybe fifteen minutes at the most. They started almost promptly at 7:15pm, just like the tickets said they would.
Bleed the Dream* comes on stage and I immediately decide that if nothing else, at least the vocalist is attractive. They started to play and I was quite pleased. I'd been hearing that the first opening band sucked and the second rocked, so I'm wondering if they switched places or something for this concert, because Bleed the Dream does not suck.
The vocalist was very crowd interactive, reaching out to us and taking hands a few times as well as doing things like hopping up on the drum set. His voice was amazing and I immediately decided that I wasn't going to complain in the least while they were on stage. About halfway through the first song, I noticed that his pants were unzipped and me being me, I couldn't stop staring. Elya and I began to motion to him that his zipper was undone, but he didn't seem to notice what we were trying to tell him. He stared directly at us several times too. In any case, after the second song, he went to pick up his water bottle and the guy in the back told him his zipper was undone I guess, since he zipped up and came back to the front to continue the show.
At the end the guitarist threw out several picks and sample stickers. The vocalist threw out some sample CDs. I managed to get hit in the head with one of the sample CDs and one of the stickers. Later we would find out that Larry got one of the guitarist's picks.
Fair to Midland* comes out and takes quite a while to set up. The guitarist can't seem to decide if he's going shirtless or not, taking it off and putting it back on like five times. The bassist tunes up and the people beside of me, who happen to be in a band themselves are displeased with how he's tuning it so that it's just fuzzy sound and nothing else. The crowd began to bitch about them taking so long and once they started playing people started shoving around pretty hard.
At this point, my frostbitten toe is starting to throb horribly in my boot and I'm being jostled every way imaginable while people try to shove up front. Elya and I link arms to try not to get separated and hold onto one another's hands so that just maybe we will be able to form a barrier so people don't get in front of us. I pay almost no attention to the band as I vaguely wonder if my toe will continue to do this throughout the entire show. When I do pay attention to the band, I don't like what I'm hearing and I feel disappointed that they weren't anywhere near as good as Bleed the Dream.
I got my other foot stomped on pretty hard by someone and I stomped back as hard as I could after finding the offending party. Someone elbowed me in the back and I grunted in dismay. People start to tell the band to get off stage and hurry up and finish already. I agree quietly in my mind, praying that the presence of Dir en grey might take my mind off of my still throbbing toe. The vocalist starts to throw himself around on stage, doing a very poor impression of Kyo... at least I hope that's what he was trying to do. If he wasn't, then he was having a seizure and I hope he got medical attention. I think that was his attempt to work the crowd and frankly, it didn't work. The bassist and drummer didn't even really look at the crowd as far as I know, or at least they didn't when I was actually looking.
End of Agony
I found myself staring at the clock wondering when Dir en grey would come on and rid us of the pain Fair to Midland was causing my head and my ears. Finally they were done and left the stage. The stage minions for Dir en grey came out and began setting up their instruments. Someone came out and tested Shinya's drums, which had been on stage the entire time, covered by a huge sheet. (Gene, Shinya's minion did all his work early, haha!)
Kyo's red crate with something in German about Stalin on the front of it came out and the crowd started shoving and screaming like crazy. People around me kept yelling for people to stop pushing and I kept thinking how that was so not going to work. The guy behind me began to elbow me in the ribs, right against the rib that if it broke would stab right through my heart or lung. I got pissed and told him to stop elbowing me in that rib. He ignored me and kept doing it. I repeated my warning to stop three more times. He finally said "fuck you" and the next time he jammed his elbow into me that hard, I brought my boot up behind me and kicked him square in the balls. His elbow removed itself from my rib and didn't go back there again. However, he decided that he needed to start shoving at my legs and hips instead. I firmly planted my feet and stayed right where I was at, shoving back at times.
I watched as Kyo's microphone and his backup microphone both come out and were tested by one of their American roadies (don't know this guy's name, sorry). Then I could see someone setting up Die's guitars behind one of the amplifiers, their red necks just barely sticking up from behind it. On the other side of the stage Kuroo (or 'Crow', usually Die's guitar tech) brought out and set up Kaoru's guitars. Cris (Die's guitar tech in the US) pulled one of Die's guitars out and did a few notes on it and the crowd got rowdy again, shoving for all they were worth.
Toshiya's stage minion (Yuya) came out with his basses and I think I almost choked on what little air I had in my lungs. I kept staring at him thinking he was pretty damn hot himself and would do just fine to stare at until Dir en grey came out. He managed to distract me from the pain in my toe and for that I am eternally grateful. So, um... Yuya, thank you!
The sheet was removed from Shinya's drums and the stage minions departed the stage. GDS* began to play over the speakers and Dir en grey began to take the stage. I couldn't see Kaoru and Toshiya's side of the stage from where I was at, so I have no idea when they came out. Shinya was the first one to enter my field of vision and he sat at his drums, picked up his drum sticks and sat there waiting. He was wearing a white tank top shirt and it looked very nice on him.
Next Kyo entered my field of vision, slowly walking out to center stage, and standing there for a moment. Die came out in an AC/DC Back in Black shirt and jean jacket (apparently made by Piggy D.) and retrieved his guitar from Cris, who had set them up earlier. (Gee, wonder what band Die likes, haha?) The guitar was the red one with the white neck on it, my favorite of all of his guitars. I raised my hands over my head and held them out toward Die, palms upward, my eyes focused directly on his face. He looked around for a minute, slid his guitar over his shoulder, pushed the little switch on the sexy little pack on the guitar strap and then turned back toward the crowd.
I continued to stare at him, searching his face in an attempt to catch his eye. And then... it happened. Die stared straight into my eyes for over fifteen seconds. I swear to god, the pushing of the crowd and all of the screaming and yelling died away in that small amount of time. Only his eyes and my own existed. His eyes held the capability to let someone drown in them, that much I can assure you. And then, just as fast as it started, it was gone and the crowd existed again. My jaw felt sore and I'm pretty sure someone must have punched me while I was lost in Die's eyes.
Kyo got up on top of his crate, steepling his hands and closing his eyes. He began to speak, but because it was not into the microphone, it couldn't be heard by the crowd. It appeared to be some kind of prayer and I watched him in reverent silence, glad that for at least one moment the crowd had stopped shoving. When he was done, he got down from his crate and picked up a microphone from the floor.
I finally managed to catch a glimpse of Toshiya and Kaoru and noted that they looked just as hot as usual and then turned my attention back to Kyo and Die.
Throughout the concert, I managed to catch Die's eyes twice more, only briefly in those cases, but still that penetrating stare was completely mine for those few moments. There was no mistaking where his gaze was aimed, and it sure as hell wasn't at anyone around me, close as they may have been. His gaze passed over me at least twenty other times during the concert, but there was no direct eye contact on those occasions. My hands were always in the air whenever he glanced my way. So yes... there is proof that the 'wave your hands in the air, look at me, damn it' system works like a charm... especially if you're in the second row and the only one not screaming out things like "I love you, Die!". I simply put a soft smile on my face and that earned me more time than I ever dreamed it could.
The crowd became rowdy enough that Elya and I eventually got separated by about six people. I knew that we'd meet up at the FYE table afterward anyway and so I didn't worry too much about that, besides the crowd had managed to shove me closer to Die, so that was fine by me. I've never been that squished in my entire life and it only got worse and worse throughout the entire concert. There were points when I wondered where my next breath would come from, because I was so squashed that my lungs couldn't get any more than halfway filled with air. My ribs felt like they were being crushed and at one point my arm felt like it was going to snap. I abandoned the idea of trying to keep my posters from getting bent at the exact moment my arm made a popping sound and both of my hands remained in the air for the rest of the concert. Someone kept hitting me in the back of the head with their fist and I finally ended up slamming my fist backward praying that I'd hit the right person. I know I hit someone in the face, but I have no idea who it was. The person who had been hitting me no longer did so after that, so I hope it was them that I hit. People started pulling at my hair and managing to tie it up into hideous knots that didn't come out for at least three days afterward. I kept yanking my hair away from them, but somehow they'd get hold of it again and again. (Word of advice people, cut your hair before going to a concert that's this rowdy. Waist length hair is a definite no.)
By the third song, my clothes were drenched with my sweat and everyone else's. At least two people were using my bag as a way to try to use me as their resting post. I was no longer caring who I was shoving at, just that if I was pushed, they were getting pushed right back, because I was not moving from where I was at.
At one point Kyo looked right at me. It was a fleeting several second meeting of our eyes, but boy do those eyes of his sparkle like diamonds when he's on stage.
Kyo did this spectacular a cappella* and it was so damn amazing. At first I couldn't even believe that it was coming out of his mouth. Eventually, I finally got the tall blonde girl's head out of my way long enough and got a good look at him. He had his microphone in the stand and had his head flung back, arms spread wide, effectively making him look like he was crucifying himself in mid air. But by god, that amazing sound was coming out of Kyo! I have always thought that he had talent, but that was absolutely stunning. What he was doing sounded like some kind of religious chant, though I'm not sure it was. Whatever it was, it was one of the best uses of Kyo's voice that I've ever heard and likely ever will.
I think Kyo may have been trying to calm the crowd down because by that point I had been elbowed and punched enough times, that parts of my body were going numb and others were throbbing in pain. Whatever he was trying to do, I'm thankful to him for it for more than one reason. The crowd calmed down quite a bit and even quieted down somewhat. My attention refused to waver from him except for a fraction of a second where I glanced at Die and Shinya. Both of them were watching Kyo, just like the rest of us were.
During the first break where Kyo went back to kneel in front of Shinya's drums, the entire crowd sang happy birthday to Kyo and Kaoru. It was Kyo's birthday and Kaoru's was the following day. Kyo remained facing away from us for the entire time, and waited until we'd sung it completely before returning to center stage. I wondered if maybe he stayed facing away from us to keep up his stage persona and not show us if he felt anything from what we were doing. In any case, he did smile for a few seconds when he turned around, which made me very pleased.
I found out that Die does some of the awesome guitar riffs that I love and that he does one hell of a lot of the backup vocals. In one of the songs, Kaoru, Die, and Toshiya all did backup vocals, which was very cool. During one song, Die didn't appear to be using a pick at all. It was a pretty complicated guitar part and had to hurt his fingers like hell.
The things that Kyo did with his hands during the show were nothing short of amazing. He made a butterfly several times and little swirling motions with his wrists that literally captivated my attention to his hands rather than anything else. It was as though nothing else but his hands existed. It was truly beautiful.
At one point Kyo ran his fingers over his microphone stand in such a way that I wanted nothing more than to be that microphone stand. His fingers lightly traced all over it, a sensuous look in his eyes as he basically smirked out at the crowd and then stared at the stand like it was the most exquisite lover in existence. He went behind it and then fisted it and pumped his hand up and down it a few times. My eyes drifted a little south of his belt and I don't think it was my imagination that the bulge in his pants was larger than it had been a few minutes prior. (Yes, I'm a pervert and yes, I always look there on guys.)
At one point Kyo crossed himself in the catholic fashion. I never knew that that motion could be anything but religious, but in that moment I found that it could also be extremely sexy.
During a particularly long instrumental section of a song, Kyo licked his microphone and mouthed it while he dangled it in the air over his mouth. He moaned into it and then licked slowly up the side of it before slinging it around his neck and walking up to his crate. I think that that image and the sound of his moan will forever be burned into my mind.
Shinya hid his face most of the time while drumming, but damn he's good at what he does. He does it with such power and obvious passion. Toshiya and Kaoru were hard to see over the heads of people who were taller than I, but when I did get glimpses of them, they seemed to be rocking out pretty hardcore too.
Kyo cut himself as usual and then screamed and damn near sounded like he was sobbing into the microphone at one point. At another point in the show, he pulled his black pants down his hips a little more than they already were and gave the crowd a "you know you want it" look.
Kyo fish-hooked* like mad just to draw a little bit of blood. He cut himself about twenty times in little straight lines that didn't bleed much until he sang a particularly hard vocal and then blood droplets began to run down his side. I could have sworn it was a razor blade that he was using, but there didn't seem to be one in his hand. Elya later told me that she saw a flash of metal fall to the stage when he raised his hand up.
At one point someone threw a water bottle directly at Kyo's head and he barely managed to dodge it. It flew behind him and hit one of Shinya's drums. Shinya stared at the drum while still playing, a look of "what the fuck?" clearly written on his face. Kyo then climbed up on his crate with a murderous glint in his eyes. Yeah, we got a seriously pissed off Kyo for a while there. Scary as fucking shit I tell you. He screamed out the next lyrics and they came out like some kind of morbid death threat as he stared at the exact location that the water bottle had come from. I'm truly glad that it didn't come from the portion of the crowd where I was at, because I would not have wanted that look anywhere near me. Rule of thumb, people: do not piss Kyo off. If looks could have killed, whoever threw that water bottle would have died a very painful death.
Die kept throwing his guitar picks into the crowd, as he usually does. None of them really came toward my area, but Larry apparently came very close to getting one at some point. Larry also says that he came within a second or two of getting one of Shinya's drumsticks.
At one point Kyo leapt off of his crate toward Shinya's drums. He basically did the splits mid-air and landed gracefully on his feet. One of my friends called him a frog and I don't think that they were far from wrong!
I got sprayed with Kaoru and Die's water and it felt wonderful. Some of it went directly into my eyes, but I was still very much pleased. Hundreds of thrashing bodies makes a person very hot. People kept fainting and we kept having to essentially crowd surf them out to the security personnel so that they could get medical attention. Two Japanese girls and I had to lift another girl over our heads to get her out of the sea of bodies when she passed out basically on top of me.
During the last encore song, Kaoru and Toshiya went stage right and Die went stage left. That was pretty cool, getting to see Kaoru and Toshiya up close as well. I got hit on the head and back by one of Kaoru's picks and then it fell on the floor. I never did find it, which sucks since I actually got whacked with it. I even scoured the floor for it afterward and no such luck, oh well.
Set List
I think that we have managed to compile the entire set listing, or at least I really hope we did. Here is what we have, though not in any kind of order.
*Click to hear clips of the songs. Why clips? Because you should buy the CDs to support the band, that's why!
Elya and I found one another and went to the FYE booth to wait on our turn to meet Dir en grey. Elya got us each a bottle of water and that made me feel quite a bit better. The FYE personnel took us up to the balcony area and we waited for a while.
About ten minutes later Kaoru, Toshiya, Die, and Shinya came up the stairs and lined up along the wall in front of us, all holding their Sharpie markers. No Kyo, but then I didn't really expect him to be there, it being his birthday and all. The cute stage minion came out with Kyo's bucket to collect any gifts that might be his. (Note: I assume this guy is also their translator, since he spoke English very well. If I knew his name, I'd put it in here. So sorry, dude, but if you read this, send me your name and I'll gladly add it!)
Elya and I were the only people with gifts for them, so that was awesome. There were only twelve of us up there to meet them, so it was really intimate.
We had been told to wait and let Diru interact with us so there were a few moments of awkwardness while each side was kind of going "Well, do something already!" The stage minion told us to go to them, so we did. I kind of hung back a little while everyone else went running for someone. As usual, they looked fucking awesome and picture perfect. There's really no touch ups done on their photos, seriously. It's nice to know what you stare at in a magazine is truly them and not some glorified version. Even better, there was no table or anything in between us, like there was at Family Values.
For a few seconds I was staring at Die and he was the only one without a Sharpie marker. One of the girls gave him one, but it was the band new click kind and Die stared at it for a few seconds like "Huh? Where's the lid at?" The black clickable Sharpies are not obviously clickable and I'm willing to bet that he'd never seen one of them before. It was really cute when he tugged on the end of it, trying to get it open and then the girl was all "It clicks!" and pointed at the other end. He clicked it and then went "Ah!" I couldn't help but smile about that.
Toshiya was left without anyone around him. He was wearing a taupe colored jacket that was very attractive on him. He looked sort of lost... like "What? No one wants me?" I was like "Hey you guys, what gives?!" in my mind. I went to Toshiya and gave him the card that I had made for him. He said "For me?" and I nodded, said "Yes", and smiled. He took it and put it in his pocket with a smile. I handed him the Embryo single CD to sign and he did. He handed it back and I said "Arigato" and bowed slightly. The first time I tried to say arigato to him, it came out as a barely audible squeak, which earned a knowing look from Toshiya. I'm sure they're all used to the fans that have screamed far too much and have lost their voices. If nothing else they are surely used to Kyo not being able to talk after concerts where he's been screaming his heart out. I started to turn toward Kaoru, but Toshiya held out his hand. I got this huge stupid grin on my face and shook his hand and said "Arigato" and bowed again. He smiled at me, which made me happy. I was the first person to touch Toshi, I win! He wrote Toshiya Bass *star* *star* *star* on my CD case.
I turned to Kaoru and waited for one more person to get stuff signed. He was wearing his black leather jacket that has all the buckles and straps on it. I handed him his card. He looked at it and then said "Thank you" and stowed it away in his pocket. I handed him the Child Prey single CD and he asked "Sign?" and I nodded. He signed it and handed it back. I said "Arigato" and bowed slightly. He nodded and smiled. He wrote... something that seriously looks like a giant R with two back lines to it rather than one and wf under it. It's his normal signature, but I have no idea how on earth it manages to mean Kaoru.
I scurried over to Die and waited on the people in front of me to finish with him. They held his drink while he signed his guitar pick that they had. I think he had soda, it sure didn't look or smell like anything else anyway. Die was wearing a black square-quilted shiny poofy jacket that was very attractive on him. Elya was in front of me and she gave Die her gift and he looked at it and said "Heart..." turned it over and went "Gummy... fruit.... FOOD!" She said "Yes" and he grinned and tucked it under his arm. My attention went to someone who bumped into me for a minute and when I looked back up Elya was wandering off and it was my turn. I handed Die his card with a huge goofy grin on my face and he asked "For me?!" and I said "Yes, it is." He grinned and tucked it into his black coat pocket and said "Thank you!" He seems to say everything like he's really excited and it makes me wonder if maybe he is. I held out the Filth single CD and asked if he'd sign it. He nodded and took it and then asked "Inside or outside?" I said outside and he nodded and then asked "Here?" while pointing at a specific place on it and I nodded again and said "Yes please." He smiled again and signed it and then handed it back. I said "Arigato" and bowed slightly. He said "You're welcome." He wrote Dir en grey (more Dir en *scribble*) Die.
I moved to Shinya and waited on a girl to get her shoe signed. I handed him his card and he looked at the name and then smiled and nodded, tucking it under his arm. He was wearing a white poofy marshmallow coat, and it was adorable on him. I held out the Embryo single CD and he signed it and handed it back. I said "Arigato and bowed. I think I may have remembered to shake Shinya's hand, but I'm honestly not sure. I was really worn out by that point and my brain wasn't quite firing on all cylinders anymore. He wrote Shinya, the S looks more like a C unless you look closely.
I was wearing the matching mate to the pink glove that I have framed from Family Values Tour where I met Kaoru and Die and shook hands and said hi, back in August 2006. I remembered that I hadn't shaken Die or Kaoru's hands and immediately went back to Kaoru, since no one was around him, and held my hand out to him. He smiled at me and shook my hand. I said "Arigato" again and he nodded. I then handed Kaoru the card that I had for Kyo with a questioning look. He murmured something to the stage minion who was holding Kyo's "Rape Me" bucket and handed the card to him. The stage minion put it in the bucket very carefully and Kaoru smiled at me and I said "Arigato" once more.
I then went back to Die and held out my hand. He had to move the marker from his right hand to his left in order to shake my hand and it was a kind of amusing game of 'where do I put the marker while I'm holding my drink?' He then took my hand and shook it as well. He smiled and I said "Arigato" and he nodded. I gave him a huge smile and a slight bow.
I managed to forget if I'd shaken Shinya's hand or not and was going to make sure that I had, so I headed toward him, only to find that he was already halfway down the stairs. I let him go, figuring he was tired, so I'd let him be on his way and I'd just hope really hard that I had shaken his hand. If nothing else, he touched my CD case and my fingertips when he handed it back, dang it!
I went to stand by the wall at the top of the stairs and wait (no less than a foot from Die's side *swoon*). Everyone finished signatures and then stage minion guy asked if that was all of the signatures. It was concluded as a yes and they left. One of them said "Bye". I think that was Die, judging by how clearly spoken it was. Stage minion guy said "Thank you all!" and most people said "Arigato" in return. I said "Thank you" as Die passed me and "Arigato" to each of the others as they filed past me.
So, basically, my theory was proven correct. Die does know a fair amount of English, seemingly more than the rest of them. They were all very nice and handsome and clean smelling. I was thankful that the water Die and Kaoru had splashed me with had managed to clean the hand I was using to shake theirs with, so I was relatively clean as well. It would have sucked to give them crowd sweat icky just because I wanted to shake their hands.
Car Ride Home
Conceived Sorrow, Bonus Disk version, played on the car stereo system on the way back home and the bass vibrated the back seat, where I sat, typing out a portion of this article. I sat there with it vibrating my back, just where it hurt, making it feel better and I suddenly burst out with "Toshi!" in a half moaning fangirl cry of glee. Larry and Elya burst out laughing and told me that I had to add that to the article, so here it is!
Closing Words
I have framed the glove along with one of the postcards and a notation of which band members touched the glove. It will hang beside of its mate from the Family Values Tour.
I still cannot feel the pinkie toe on my left foot, my cheeks still feel extremely hot, and my jaw hurts like a bitch. My left arm, ribcage, lower back, and entire neck are all deeply bruised to the point that moving is extremely painful. I'm going to be black and blue from all of the abuse that I took being in the second row, but it was all well worth it. Hell... I'd gladly sacrifice this toe for all that happened. It's like a dream come true and I cannot even begin to express how happy I am.
Oh, and Toshiya... you have a new fangirl now. You were so sweet, offering your hand to me instead of the other way around. It was definitely a highlight of the entire experience.
Notes Section
Elya - One of my closest friends, who is just as much of a fangirl as I am
Larry - My father, a willing participant in this adventure who very much enjoyed the concert and is possibly the coolest father in the world
NDK - An annual anime convention held in Denver, Colorado.
Diru - One of the fan created abbreviations for Dir en grey.
The Deeper Vileness- Dir en grey song title from album The Marrow of a Bone
The Final - Dir en grey song title from album Withering to death.
A cappella - singing without instrumental accompaniment
Ain't Afraid to Die - Dir en grey song title from CD Single Ain't Afraid to Die
Taz - The Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes, created in 1954
Forty three years in the future - Taz was created in 1954 and Dir en grey was formed in 1997, thus 43 years
Bleed the Dream - First opening band
Fair to Midland - Second opening band
GDS - the opening song Dir en grey always comes onstage to
Fish-hooking - Kyo reaches into his mouth and rips the insides of his mouth with his nails so he spits up blood onto his face and chest
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~*~ Dir en grey ~*~ Bleed the Dream ~*~ Fair to Midland ~*~
Copyright 2007 - Current Dark Avenger
